Monday, January 31, 2011
This weeks card is Number 29: Not in the Sky.
Sutra: The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. ~The Dhammapads of Gautama the Buddha. 500 BC~
Don't look upward! When you pray you look upward, as if God is there. Buddha says: Look inward, because God is there.
Look within. Watch how many jealousies, how many angers, how many lustful desires are boiling there. Just watch them!
And this is the greatest contribution of Buddha -- that he has said, and proved beyond doubt because it has worked for thousands of people -- that a deep observation of anything that is wrong in you is enough; you need not do anything else. Just be aware of it and it disappears. It disappears just as you bring light into a room and the darkness disappears.
Become aware, awake. Then you will see that everything comes and goes, all things come and pass. Life is a flux. Your consciousness is the only thing that is immovable, that is eternal. To attain it is freedom. To attain it is the goal of life.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Because of the sheer exhaustion I have been unbelievably cranky. I figured it was safer not to come here and spill out my horribleness via blog posts. No, seriously, I was thinking some pretty scary stuff ya'll. For example....a co-worker left a pair of pliers on a cart at work and my brain went into hyper-drive about all the things I could do with this pair of pliers. My hands would have turned into instruments of divine torture. We're talking Hannibal Lecter tendencies. It was safer for me (and you) to stay away. But...I got a good night's sleep last night. The sun is shining, the dusting of snow we got last night/early this morning is in the process of melting away. *While the school's still remain shut...pansies*
So...I've still got at least one post to finish that Reverb10 thing from December. And yes, I'm going to finish it. It's important. And then I have a few things brewing in the brain for you lovelies. My goal is to have Tea Time Tuesday up and running again here in the next week or so. I'm such a slacker, I swear.
Here's a little something for you.....out of my 14,000 things to be happy about book:
Isn't it pretty....I love nature pictures.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
It was early fall. Two friends of mine and I went downtown in search of a place to eat that we actually had made reservations at. Well, two times around downtown resulted in a frustrated bunch of people that never found the place. One of the two friends knew of another little place downtown and directed me there. We parked and went into one of the most awesome restaurant's I have ever been in. It was a little place called Red. It had one of those modern-post industrial vibes to it. The coolest part were the red halogen tube lights that hung up like curtains down the central walkway that the waitstaff went to the kitchen on. We ordered dessert and drinks and had a blast. I ordered a triple berry compote type dessert and damn near died and went to heaven when I tried it. In fact....I think I have a pic of it. Hold on....
Beautiful isn't it?? Yes...it's in black and white because it was dark at the table and the color shots looked awful. But I loved this dessert and I have some wonderful memories of two very great friends that evening.
Day 28: Achieve -- What's the thing that you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you'll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think that in order to feel that experience today. (Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)
I honestly can't pick one moment of ordinary joy from 2010. It's not that I don't have any, I have a ton of them to choose from. LOL. From poker nights and late nights staying up and playing guitar hero to going on 3am runs to Taco Bell. From full moons at the lake to spending a weekend in New Mexico with my mom. And that's only a few that I thought of off the top of my head. I had a great 2010 and can only hope that I have as much fun in 2011.
I'm going to capture my word of the year. "Create". I can imagine a feeling of accomplishment when I finally create something from beginning to end. And as far as 10 things I can think or do to feel accomplished...well, I did that today by cleaning my apartment because I wanted to. Not cause I felt I had to....but the fact that I wanted a nice, clean, comfortable, and inviting home made me happy. And now, I sit with my glass of milk typing this and feel accomplished and that makes me smile.
Day 29: Defining Moment -- Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year. (Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)In 2010 I learned that it's ok to let go. I let go of some of my fears and inhibitions. I let go of the control that I feel I have to maintain at all times. I let go of the departed and wished them a happy journey. I let go of myself a few times in there too. I'm still working on this whole "letting go" process. I'm learning to let go of old hurts and anger. I'm going to be working on the 30 letters project just for myself. I plan on writing them and holding a bonfire to truly let go of all the stuff that has weighed me down. I plan on letting go of even more of my fears....including working on my biggest....my fear of success. Wish me luck :)
Day 30: Gift -- This month, gifts and gift giving can seem inescapable. What's the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year? (Author: Holly Root)
I know it may sound trite and corny but the best gift that I recieved in 2010 was being able to wake up to see the next day. I spent years and years lonely and depressed and wishing I could die. I have tried to end my life on more than one occassion and I can say now, with all honesty, I'm glad that I was too much of a chicken shit to actually succeed in that. I'm glad that my daughter said "Mama" for the first time when I was contemplating swallowing a couple of handfuls of pills with a chaser of vodka. I lost a very good friend way too soon and it woke me up and really made me realize that life is short...no matter how old you are...and you need to be able to enjoy every second of it. You have to revel in the joy, the pain, the hurt, anger, happiness, jealousy, triumph, etc, etc, etc. I, for one, am damn glad to be alive and I intend to live like I am.
Day 31: Core Story -- What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) *(Author: Molly O'Neill)
I think I can safely say....see above.
**I know this was completed damn near a month after it was "supposed" to be done. But oh well, life got busy...as I'm sure you are all familiar with...and this blog wasn't exactly the first thing I thought of every day. Better late than never though...at least I finished it ;)**