The weather, both yesterday and today, is cooperative and absolutely wonderful. Granted...I haven't much left the house today. The kidlet wasn't feeling all that hot last night and asked for a down day. So here we are.....voluntarily house bound, watching tv, playing on the computers, reading, drinking tea and just generally hanging out. It's nice since we've (well...I) been running around like chickens w/ our heads cut off for days.
Yesterday A and I got together (w/ K and the kiddo) and worked on our lists of what we were prepared to let go of and what we would like to drawn in in its place. We both came up with 14 items (one to focus on each month and 2 bonus...lol) and had it all written/printed out on a piece of paper in order to burn. We went and had a nice dinner together at Freddy's (awesome patty melts by the way) and then proceeded to go out to the lake where we usually go to be magickal.
K and the kiddo went off to the playground so that A and I could do our "thing". We scoped out a decent spot and decended the rocks to get there. Now....I've been going to this lake and playing around on the rocks for the better part of 6 years without incident. Last night however, I fell off an unstable rock and hit my right shoulder and jammed my right middle finger pretty good. We didn't let it stop us....but I wonder what about last night was different than any other time we've gone out there. Granted....it was just her and I instead of a group of people and we were actually going out there to perform a ritual not just engage in meditation. **Longest sentence ever...lol** Maybe that was the difference though.....I'm chalking it up to a small lesson in humility and a necessary sacrifice for our ritual. Yup...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
We created a circle out of the rocks that were in the immediate area, lit some incense (that stayed lit for all of 15 seconds before our 30mph winds extinguished them), invited in the elements, read our lists, and then attempted to burn them (thus the ignition part). Well....let me tell you how that worked. Hahahahaha...it didn't. We couldn't get those papers lit to save our lives. So...we meditated on our reason to be out there and tried again. Nope...not happening. So we figured that maybe we were supposed to do something a little different. We thought about it, talked outloud to the Goddess and the elements and we felt that we were supposed to turn our lists over to the water. After some deliberation and us telling each other "This way!", "No...that way!"; we went our seperate ways (seperate but unified), did our own things and released all the stuff that's been holding us back and made welcome room for the new.
It was an awesome experience and we promised each other and the Goddess that we would pay more attention to Her and observe more than what we have been (in fact that was on each of our lists). Speaking of lists....I am going to share mine here. So...here goes:
Goals for Ostara Ritual 2011:
~ I release my feelings of anger towards those that have wronged me in my life. I draw in the ability to forgive and find peace so that I may move on and become a better person.
~ I release my feelings of doubt and draw in feelings of confidence and self-assuredness.
~ I release my fear of success and draw in an "I-CAN-DO-IT!" attitude so that I can no longer stop myself from achieving my own goals.
~ I release my tendency towards procrastination and laziness so that I can complete daily tasks and creative endeavors.
~ I release my addiction to fast food and draw in the ability to make healthier choices about food.
~ I release my constant negligence and aim to cultivate a stronger relationship with my Goddess and God.
~ I release the hold that nicotine has on me so that I am able to quit smoking in order to improve my health.
~ I aim to make time every day to meditate and focus on finding my inner Zen/Buddha.
~ I aim to purge my home of items that are no longer necessary in order to increase the flow of positivity.
~ I release the negativity I hold towards myself and my own image and draw in love and positive thoughts in order to improve my self-esteem.
~ I draw in the ability to start each day with a smile and to see the positive in every day.
~ I draw in the ability to see the sacred in everyday tasks (work, cleaning, etc.) and to appreciate the fact that I am able to do these seemingly mundane things.
~ I aim to be more active in my spiritual beliefs in order not to become a "Play-gan".
~ I aim to be more aware of my Goddess-given gifts and take steps in actually using them.
So there you have it.....a good working goal list, an up close and personal experience with Earth (my finger is the worst for wear), time spent with my best friends, my daughter, and an experience with the Goddess and the Elements that I will never forget. It was an awesome night....I only hope that each of you were able to celebrate how you wanted to.