Friday, December 10, 2010

Reverb10: Days 3-5

Day 3: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)

I have sat here for about fifteen minutes and am quite ashamed to say that I honestly can't pinpoint one moment where I felt most alive this year. Not saying that I haven't had those moments....I just can't think of one specifically. There have been several of those "I feel so alive" moments for me. And sense I appreciate every single one of them I don't think it would be fair to blog about one over the other. Some of them involved being with my daughter, others my friends, one or two involved my cat. Others involved me and me alone. Over the past year I have learned not to take things for granted. Appreciate things in your matter how small or insignificant. You don't know for sure how long you'll be around to enjoy them. Enjoy everything while you with no regrets. Love without shame. There is no substitute for true joy.

Day 4: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

I think I answered this in Day 1's post. Honestly though....once again I spent a lot of the year in wonder. Wondering about my life and the direction I want to take it. I have joined the 43things website in order to harness all those things that I would like to accomplish in my life. I'm also looking at completing several blog challenges in the coming year in order to harness a better understanding of my own life and why I do some of the things I do. I'm tired of doing the day to day routine. I'm honestly a bit bored with my life. If you would like to read more about me and the essence of the word Wonder....go back to Day'll see a bit more there.

Day 5: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

This year I did my absolute best to let go of negative people in my life. I realized that in order to improve the quality of my own life and to stop being so negative about my own decisions that I had to cut out the negativity in my life from outside sources. One person I have completely let go of and another I have minimized my contact with considerably. The one person I cut out completely was just too draining on my mental and emotional resources. She is a seriously co-dependant individual and needed constant validation on almost everything that she did. She would insist on hanging things that she did for me and my family over my head on a fairly consistent basis. I just reached a point where I couldn't deal with it anymore. So I quit dealing with it. We broke off the friendship after something she did negatively affected the well being of my child...that was the final straw for me. We talk occasionally through text messages. Nothing more involved than a "Hi, how are you?" but I've set down the ground rules in the fact that we will no longer be more than casual aquaintances. We're both happy with that.
The other person that I have let go of is someone that I'm still very close to. What I've let go of with this person is the way that their personal opinion on things impact me. This is someone that has something to say about everything and I used to let it bother me on a deep emotional level. I had become co-dependant on her for the longest time. And when I let go of the other person, I realized that I had some of the same attributes in myself that I had grown to dislike in the other person. So I put myself under the microscope. I realized that I wasn't being my own person...that I was allowing her opinions to have more hold over my thoughts than my own. I had to stop doing that.

It's a work in progress though....things like these take time you know.

1 comment:

Dark Mother said...

I found you through Can We Have a New Witch and I love your blog. Very inspiring.

I look forward to reading your new blog about witchy weight loss.....I too have excess junk in my trunk ; )

p.s. I grabbed one of your buttons and would love if you'd grab mine : )