Friday, December 3, 2010

I've been thinking....

This picture x2 is equivalent to the amount of extra weight I'm carrying around on my 5'7" frame. Ladies and gentlemen...the picture contains 104 sticks of butter weighing a grand total of 50 pounds. That's a lot of butter ya'll....a lot of butter. A lot of my friends find it hard to believe that I'm at least 100 pounds overweight, but I am. I've learned to hide it very well over the past 15 years. I wear large shirts, stand up as straight as I can so that my midsection looks longer than what it is, and I have a habit of crossing my arms around myself a lot. When I'm visiting somewhere that I'm not incredibly comfortable being and I'm forced to sit somewhere, inevitably there will be a couch pillow across my stomach hiding the fat rolls.

I detest going shopping for clothes. When I try on shirts I'm immediately drawn to the midsection and I turn and try to figure out how bad my fat sticks out or if it's disguised enough for me to actually purchase the shirt. Needless to say, I have very few cute shirts hanging up in my closet. And I would love to own cute clothes.

Now...I'm not saying that I'm dying to look like some runway model or a superstar or anything. That's ridiculous and flat out unrealistic unless someone has learned how to airbrush real fat cells off of live bodies. And I'm in no way willing to starve myself to become thin. I've already tried that route once in my life and it sucks. What I am saying is that I'm fed up with being overweight and I'm fed up with being unhealthy.

I'm tired of shopping for "plus size" clothes. I'm tired of spending more money on clothes because they cost more to make. I'm tired of my body aching because of the extra strain being put on it. I'm tired of my knees popping and my joints aching. I'm tired of being out of breath when I climb the simple 16 stairs that lead up to my apartment. I'm tired of not being able to play with my 4 year old godson in his backyard because I'm too tired and overweight. I'm tired of looks that I get from some people because of my weight. Even though most of the time I mentally tell them to F-off.

So...I've decided that on the 1st of January, this big girl is going to start another blog for my weight loss journey. The Tea Witch is going to shed this excess baggage so that she can live a healthier life. I'm not going to be doing this for anyone but myself.....for me, all for me. I want to be healthier. I want to be thinner and more fit. I want to be able to breath and run and play with kids. I want to be able to buy clothes and look at the clothes...not judge how well they hide the spare tire around my middle. I want to fully embrace the Goddess I really am. I have roughly three weeks to mentally prepare myself for this....and this time I WILL accomplish this goal.

6 comments:

Rue said...

I think that's wonderful that you've got a goal! I've been doing Weight Watchers for 10 months now and it's really slow going - but it works! It's definitely a lifestyle thing, and I'm by no means 'there' yet - but it's a journey. So many good wishes to you on yours!

Witchy Godmother said...

I have had a panic/hate relationship with this most of my life. Now I am working at making peace and health with dieting or whatever to call it. My favourite support place is SparkPeople, as it is free and full of the tools I use. http://www.sparkpeople.com - Good luck on your journey. - Hugs and sparkles - WG

Ms Lilypads said...

I'm pulling for you, tea darling! And there are plenty of witchy sisters out here who will pull for you (and nag you if ever you feel frustrated because you think things aren't moving fast enough).

Teacats said...

me too. exactly my feelings -- i refuse to buy another pair of jeans at size 16. i'll be there with you all of the way!

Dark Mother said...

I am on the same path as you. My size 16 jeans have become almost imposible to button since the holidays and I'M DONE with it. I'm also staring at some pretty serious medical issues from this excess weight.

I will always have junk in my trunk, but I want to FEEL better and have more ENERGY.

Before the holidays, I started doing Wii fit. The pounds were melting off and I have to say, I'm not a video game player but it was A BALL. I'm starting back up tomorrow when my son goes back to school (as soon as I bust it out he's all up in my business so it's been sitting there all loney for a couple of weeks during Winter break).

Tea Witch said...

To all of you...Thanks so much for your support. I appreciate it very much :) Makes me warm and fuzzy and nice to know that I'm not alone in this feeling.

I've got a PS3 and am considering getting the Zumba discs for it. A friend of mine has Zumba and she loves it....possibly going to do it with her if I can make it out there to where she lives at least once a week.